WE NEED TO TALK ABOUT EQUALITY!
There has never been a better time than now. And it has taken eons for us to reach where we are today. it required sacrifice and PERSEVERANCE of countless women and help of many men to get enough people to accept the existence of MISOGYNY and understand the meaning of equality.
The ‘H2O’ argument
I call it – “The argument that you have with a person when you are too quick to judge and when you call someone wrong, while being too lazy to understand that you and the other person are both talking about the same thing or issue. At the same time your inability to take off your rose colored glasses and a child like paroxysm to not even attempt to have an open mind to understand the problem in true sense that as a result makes you unfit for a mature & logical conversation, and instead makes you a buffoon!” (Yes! I absolutely invented it! LMAO)
We need to talk about ‘The H2O Argument’ because we constantly find ourselves surrounded by questions like :
- Why do we need to give more importance to the women and their respect, their rights & their issues? Are they special!
- Who and what are these Feminists? Are feminists really ‘men-haters’ who believe in suppressing and taking the rights away from the male population?
Why do we even need Feminism? Why are we using feminism if we argue that we want equality, why not be an ‘Equalist‘ or a ‘Humanist‘ instead?
What we need to understand is that we all need to treat each other with equal respect because we are all equal, not superior or inferior. Equal. No one is ignoring male population. While people must be taught to respect everyone we need to give more attention & emphasis especially towards women because in a patriarchal setting like this women get less respect than men.
What is interesting is for most people misogyny & sexism is a myth like Global warming is for a lot of people. Saying that this issue doesn’t exist does not mean it does not, but simply that you are too blinded by your privilege to look around, acknowledge a problem & then hold mature discussions to understand it & work together to eliminate it.
“WE, THE WOMEN“
- We, the women-kind aren’t hysterical. Oh! It isn’t even something that scientifically exist! Hysteria. A made up medical condition by doctors in old times to shut women up. A made up ‘medical condition’ that later was medically proven as being a myth and yet used every time we stand up and talk. When our reproductive rights & contraceptive rights are discussed & taken away from us even though it is our body, our choice. When we are treated as children who can’t make our own choices & health decisions. When the men sitting in their offices give more funds & energy to a medical issue of erectile dysfunction rather than taking care of laws to take care of our reproductive health & mental well being. When the men in lab coats ‘research’ and come to a conclusion that our ‘G-spot’ doesn’t exist, that women can’t orgasm or ‘ejaculate’ rather then saving those funds for other researches & simply coming to us and ask about our bodies. Is when we know that we need to talk about it. We need to stand up and shout for everyone to hear that it needs to stop. We need to teach our kids to ensure that it isn’t repeated.
Mutual respect. Mutual dignity. Consensual affection. Personal space. Setting up boundaries, protecting them from others & ensuring that we do not violate the boundaries of others.
- Women face challenges, discrimination & looked down as simply being less than a man. Not equal to.
- In a society where a man is bossy he is called a Tough Leader but if a women is she is called a Nasty Bitch.
- If she talks about a topic or subject men automatically assume that they have more knowledge than her, they tend to talk over her, interrupt her and if she proceeds to tell them that she knows it better (or has a degree or job in it) she is called arrogant.
- A woman’s moral values are calculated by her cloths & the timings of the clock.
- A woman has to do double amount of work to prove herself in the workplace, to be taken seriously & fights sexism, misogyny & harassment at workplace at the same time.
- Every time a woman gets an appraisal or a promotion people around her question her ability & assume that its because of her looks.
- When a woman is assaulted or raped people question her cloths, the timing she was outside & her truth.
“NOT ALL MEN…“
- Every time an infant or minor is raped or assaulted rather than collective outrage towards the rape culture there are men who start saying “Not all Men”
- Every time a woman stands up for herself & the discrimination, people call her hysterical, ask if she is on her periods “are you PMSing? That time of the month huh?” , call her names & call the poor condition of women a myth.
- Every time a women speaks up and makes a logical argument they aren’t treated with a counter logic or an intelligent discussion but rather personal remarks are thrown at her ‘comments on her looks, her character’. If they do not agree to a woman they proceed to emotionally violate her. “I don’t agree with you so I do not approve of your existence. Bad woman. You are ugly anyway!”
- Every time a woman talks about women empowerment in a developed economical setting she is asked to shut up because “there are countries where women have it bad”. Every time a woman talks about women empowerment in a developing/underdeveloped economical setting she is asked to shut up because “Even developed countries are no better” & that “there are countries that women have it worse.”
- To counter an issue raised by arguing that there are other more important issues to talk about doesn’t make that issue less important. There are always going to be places where women have it worse till we do not change our prerogatives & attitude towards even the issues that look ‘not important enough’ but are important for women around us.
- A man gives the reason to respect women or understand their issues by giving statements like“I have a sister, so women empowerment is important for me” or “As a father of two little girls, I have realized how important women empowerment is and how terrible toxic masculinity is” or simply, “Now I understand what an misogynist or sexist I was in my youth.” Well, when men need to have an important woman, or women in their life as sister, daughter etc to finally realize that women are actual human beings is when we need to get up and scream at the top of our lungs that…
“WE ARE RAISING OUR BOYS WRONG! “
Because you do not need to have a biological or emotional bond with a woman to know that women are humans too and their rights are important, or that they are suffering because of patriarchy! Isn’t Compassion a human trait?
“DON’T BE A BITCH. SAY THANK YOU AND SMILE.“
We grow up being told to ‘smile’, being told to take ‘compliments’. We grow up being catcalled & stalked. We grow up passing men in the street who discuss obscenely about our body parts & what they want to do to it, loud enough for us to hear and being disgusted, offended and frightened for our safety. They intend for us to hear & they do not care. We are simply cattle sexual play things or pets. Our personal space & dignity constantly violated and when we stand up for ourselves, against the harassment we are called a Bitch, a snow flake. “Grow up, and learn to take compliments. Don’t be a bitch about it. Or your life will be harder if you act like this.”
We teach our women to get approval. Learn to get respect in a society. To keep our mouths, dresses, ‘virginity‘ & lives in check. To ensure we aren’t labeled defectives. When we should be giving equal energy to teach our men to let women be. To teach men to respect women as a human not an object or a possession that requires perfection or has expiration.
If we smile less we are called arrogant. If we smile more we are LABELED as sluts. There is no middle ground for women. That maybe we are just an ordinary imperfect human who needs to be treated with dignity & our personal space respected, is something no one pauses to think.
Why don’t we let women behave like men or men behave like women if they want to. Why don’t we strive to behave more humane instead? What is so wrong in being a women!
Every time you come across women ‘preference’ law that is put in place to protect them from crimes like rape, assault, domestic violence etc if your argument is “but there are so many false cases filed by women, laws being misused by them that men are the one who are suffering.”
“HEY! BUT ALL WOMEN…“
Well let me tell you something : “I have faced a lifetime of harassment from men, even when I was a child & even more when I am an adult. When I was 12 year old I was stalked & harassed by a grown man. When I was 14 year old I was inappropriately touched & kissed by a middle aged man who was in a position of trust because I knew him. On my 16th birthday I was stalked & almost abducted by a man driving a big ass car. Moreover, there are innumerable instances where I have declined advances of men who then proceed to call me names because they are too fragile to handle a rejection. And the list goes on. It has come to a point that today I do not even remember the amount of men who have inappropriately tried to violate my personal space & disrespected me.”
So I ask you this : Do you want me to put the entire male species into the category of ‘ALL MEN ARE : dangerous animals, who lack self control. Each one either a rapist or a potential one.’ ?
No, right? I know what you would say : #Notallmen. (A statement that men give everytime there is an outrage towards men on rape, abuse and other violent crimes against women.) But run at the collective #Butallwomen.
Irrespective of my paranoia against men, I do not put everyone in a box & label them as evil. That is what maturity means.
In the same way the amount of women who misuse the efforts of empowerment that we give them are like a bucket of water in a huge ass pond. Not all women are good. But majority of women suffer in our society, suffer the unthinkable and keep quite because we make them feel ashamed for being a victim/survivor and more because we question their truth. We use abuse erasure & victim blame instead.
“THE PATRIARCHY HAS FAILED THE MEN…TOO.“
Also, patriarchy hurts the male population as much by binding them in a perceived ‘masculinity‘ while they need to constantly prove it or be ashamed. That without the societal idea of ‘masculinity’ a male is a less of a human…’women like, feminine‘. A society where anything related to the female gender is looked upon as a defect, a weakness.
When we do not acknowledge a male rape victim/survivor and instead joke that he must have enjoyed being raped by a woman because ‘men don’t get raped‘ or ‘he had an erection‘. When we question his ‘heterosexuality‘ if the rapist is a man. When we talk about why we never ever had a ‘sexy teacher’ when we come across incidences of female teachers abusing male students. When we come across a male victim/survivor of Domestic Violence & call him ‘not man enough‘ or weak.
FEMINISM IS NOT A DIRTY WORD.
Feminism is not a dirty word that you are scared to use for yourself or a word that you throw it at people as an insult for them because they believe in equality. Feminism isn’t anti male, unlike the preconceived notion of some people because of its prefix ‘Fem’. It is to support women, not to pull down men. This movement is the reason in most of the places in the world women have an individual voice.
Now before you jump on the band wagon of the argumentative labels of ‘pseudo-feminist, feminazi, men hater’ and so one, let me stop you and make my most favorite statement of all times : “I can call myself a Potato. But calling myself a potato doesn’t make me one.”
Now, I love potatoes. But that doesn’t mean that I label myself one out of my personal disgust for eggplants (nasty vegetable by the way). Or simply become a potato because its chic & popular to be a potato. I can go on and on about how I believe the potato ideology but if I do not actually follow & respect it than how am I part of it!
Similarly, all women & men who call themselves Feminists or even Equalist however, hate men or bash women in the name of equal rights or use misogyny or misandry erasures to fulfill their personal agenda of hate are neither Feminist or Equalist. Also, all the MRA’s here : I am looking at you too. Take off your privilege & look around. You aren’t oppressed. Stop your misogyny in the name of equal rights. We all know that you do not see us as equals but as witches instead.
There are major issues faced by women in this sexist society. And along with that there are issues faced by men at the same time too. Why don’t we sit together like mature beings, take off our privilege and hate, acknowledge the problems & work together to eliminate them? How hard is that! But instead women, are told to shut up.
“Oh honey! Don’t be a cry baby. Don’t wave your victim card, Don’t wave your woman card. Shut up and grow up. If you do not learn to ignore it you are in for a very rough life.”
Well no shit! Sherlock. Don’t teach me how to react when you are too snowflake to accept a rejection and understand personal space and mutual respect.
Because “Oh honey! Don’t be so sexist. Act like a mature person. Understand personal space. Don’t be creepy af. Open your mind. This world is changing. For good. If you do not hold yourself accountable and become a respecting adult, you will be thrown off and will fall flat on your face in a sexist puddle of your making. And you know, masculinity is a fragile thing;
“NO, I AM NOT YOUR BABE.“
Men and women aren’t the same. Our bodies are different. Our minds are. Our brains are. We are two sub-species of a modern human species. We aren’t ‘equal’. We are different. And we need to acknowledge this difference & embrace it. We aren’t superior or inferior to each other. We are the same. With different faults & abilities, with different bodies, with different physical and emotional challenges. We aren’t equal & yet we are equals. And we need to understand this. We need to look around and uplift women and empower them because since thousands of years we aren’t treated with equal rights & dignity.
We have been constantly asked to shut up because talking isn’t ladylike. We have been witch hunted & burnt on stake because we were loud with our opinions, loud enough for people to think it as being unnatural. Evil.
- Women Empowerment : As a rule of balance, in order to equal the scale …empower the oppressed section to uplift them, educate the privileged section so that they understand why the other section require empowerment.
I am sick of this patriarchy and this ‘H20 argument’ by those who don’t understand the importance of Feminism & its stance of women empowerment. And I have had enough from Women who side the patriarchy and play the Devil’s advocate. I have had enough of this!
You believe in Equality. I believe in Equality. We both believe in Equality. What is there in a term? You call it a water or a H2O it eventually means the same liquid.
It is important for us to stay on the same page and acknowledge the poor condition of women & the need of women empowerment. If we do not acknowledge the existence of a problem, we can never truly solve it.
What we need to understand is that we can only follow an; Equalist’ setup once we have uplifted the lesser privileged sections with the help of the Feminist setup. Without this we will never truly be equals.
This world of patriarchy was built on OUR SILENCE. So the last thing we need is to stay quite. Because if we do not discuss this issue no one will know that it is even a PROBLEM. And if we do not acknowledge this problem, it will NEVER be solved & eliminated.
People have a problem with Feminism because:
“When we come from privilege, equality feels like an oppression.“
*Images : Used from tumblr via google. If any of these belong to you, email me. I will remove them. TY